Friendship Parallelism

I’ve come to the realization that Bailey and I are completely cut from the same cloth…with the same scissors…and the same pattern. yeah, it weirds us out too.

This year we started college in a major we thought we would be interested in, we were friends with so many people and had a positive outlook on things even though we were pretty scared. Many of the times we were just talking to each other over the phone and on Skype. not even sorry. Then we got farther into the semester and realized we couldn’t really accomplish some of the things we had in mind..so we switched majors basically together (to separate subjects don’t worry) We both had a biology course…we both barely passed. Second semester we both pretty much tried to start over. We started to become individuals and well we kinda disliked more of the people we had surrounded ourselves with the semester before.

We’re both going to get through the next two weeks and move back home for the summer. We’re both going to be extremely excited when we finally see each other again. We’re both going to work over the summer and get money to pay back our huge student loans. It’s going to be great and I’m so glad I have Bailey in my life to complain to and call whenever I get extremely stressed out. She is my soulmate and she is my person and I cherish her just as much as I cherish my own family. I don’t know what I would do if she wasn’t in my life…and to be completely honest this first year at college would have been completely different without her, even though we weren’t together.  Can’t wait to be home this weekend. ❤

do normal people get stress breaks too?!

Do you ever just want to pull a Zayn Malik and take a “stress break” from school, or life in general for like a week or two and then decide to just leave for good and never come back and be a normal 22 year old. Because my God, am I at that point in my life.

My second semester of college is almost over, 5 more weeks, and I could not be more ready for summer. So much has happened in the past 3 weeks alone that just makes me want to take a forever long break and do my own thing [with Abi]. I got to see Abi for a little bit before she headed back to Ohio and I was starting my spring break. That has been one of the only good things that has happened in the past month or two. Spring break came and went, and just like that I was back in classes, “listening” but really planning out my wedding, my kids’ future names, and what i’m going to say in my maid of honor speech at Abi’s wedding. Things really started to go downhill on March 25th, when Zayn Malik decided to leave One Direction. And of course Abi and I were devastated, ARE devastated. Who knew that someone who made us so happy all the time could change in an instant and cause us the most pain. We skyped that Wednesday for probably close to 3 hours, crying on and off, talking about what it was going to be like now, telling each other to stop crying, and trying to change the subject so neither of us would talk about it again. [fyi we still talk about it and its been almost 2 weeks, we aren’t that good at distracting each other obviously].

This wasn’t supposed to be a post about Zayn leaving, but that’s kind of what that paragraph turned into, so I am sorry. In reality, I just wanted to have a stress break like he claims he was on. Because college is stressing me out. Life is stressing me out. As second semester is coming closer to the end, I’m trying to schedule classes for next semester around a career that I’m not even sure about. I know I want to get a degree in criminal justice, but God only knows what I’m going to do with that once I graduate. I come up with a new job everyday that I think I would be interested in. And I really should just stop doing that, because it’s a big contributor to my stress, but I really can’t help it. I feel like every decision I make in college somehow affects what is going to happen after I graduate, and what job I’ll get and that’s stressful as hell and I just need a little break. I’m one of those people that doesn’t like to be unsure about things. I like to know exactly what I’m going to do. I like to plan out my next day the day before, and write down what I need to do. And I can’t do that with course selection and anything else regarding college. The uncertainty of my future right now is killing me, and stressing me out, and overwhelming me so much I can’t even do anything but cry most of the time.  But hopefully I’ll figure something out soon, and my future will start to come together as I want it. Until then, hopefully I’ll survive with the help of cry sessions with Abi, and maybe a stress break here and there.

P.S. If you are a doctor reading this, I need your help. I cannot hear out of my ear and there’s been pressure and a ringing noise all day AND I THINK I AM GOING INSANE PLEASE HELP ME I CANT DO THIS FOR MUCH LONGER.

unexpectedly positive

So second semester is in full swing and spring break is just around the corner.

To update you- I still don’t know what I’m doing with my life but Bailey’s at least got some sort of plan (kinda).  For now, I’m just getting through my gen eds and “listening” in classes, getting the homework done, and of course binge watching netflix whenever I freaking can.  (Grey’s Anatomy 4 dayzz) Anyway, I’m  just kinda tired of not knowing where to go in life.  I know I have things I want to accomplish at some point but honestly, they aren’t things I need a college education for…I just need money. and lol homegirl has none of that. Growing up, I was never really worried about where I was financially because that was just something my parents dealt with.  Yeah, I didn’t really get everything I wanted but that didn’t have me worried about the next bill my parents were going to pay. As I’ve grown up, and especially now that I’m in college somewhat dealing with my own finances, I feel more stressed about it and worried that I’m making all these wrong decisions.  Every little thing feels like a life changing decision, or at least 10 more years of debt. It’s intimidating and scary and wow this blog post has gotten super deep. (oops) I don’t really know where I’m going with this to be honest. There wasn’t really a point in me writing about my financial troubles except that I needed to get it off my chest I suppose.

I guess the good thing is that one day (I pray) it won’t be as big of a deal as it is right now.  It’s important to always stay on top of your finances but staying positive is also a huge deal too. If you’re constantly worried and stressed about how you’re going to pay that next bill then that’s how you stay.  But if you can channel that stress and use it to motivate you to work harder and earn that extra paycheck…then is it so bad? I think it’s all in how you view things.  Every cloud really does have a silver lining and it just depends on how you look at things. This was never a thing that I was good at but once I got into college I realized how important it truly is.  If I didn’t at least try to look at things in a positive light, I know that I would be drowning in stress and staying worried, and constantly just looking at the worst possible outcomes of things. Stay positive and you never know how you’re day might take a turn.

🙂

33 Reasons Why You’re My Best Friend Forever

friends

So, t’s 1 AM and I’m on season 2, episode 14 of friends. And Abi’s leaving in 8 hours and 6 minutes from a cracker barrel with her friend to go back to college and I’m sad and already miss her. A lot. And I don’t want to sleep because then, well I’ll waste time I could be watching Friends, and also then she leaves sooner, which is sad so here I am; awake, writing a blog post, and watching Friends.

I wish that we didn’t have to college so far away from each other. I wish that we both went to the same school, that we could be roommates, that we could hang out every day. But we don’t, but it’s alright because we went three months without seeing each other our first semester, so I know we can make it this next semester, and our next 3 years too.

I also wish that I was in Friends, and that I was best friends with Monica, Rachel, Phoebe, Chandler, Ross, and Joey. But being best friends with Abi kind of seems like the same thing. I mean we hang out in our beds, which is kind of the same as hanging out in their apartment. We like coffee, so we’d go to Central Perk. We’re not poor twenty year olds, but we are poor eighteen year olds. We don’t have love lives. Well, Abi does, she won’t admit it though. And we also don’t live together, or live in the same state during college, so actually there’s no real connection there. But anyway, Abi’s my friend. My best friend. And I already miss her so much it’s unreal. And I wish we were already graduated college and living together, and being poor together, and drinking coffee together. But we have to get through the next three and a half years first, but I know we can.

“I’ll be there for you, when the rain starts to pour, I’ll be there for you, like I’ve been there before, I’ll be there for you, cause you’re there for me too” Abi once told me that this song “holds truth in the chorus. I’ll be there for you. Easy enough! Simple but effective.” Because she’s the greatest friend in the world, and we’ll always be there for each other.

Happy New Tears

We’ll still be crying this year..plenty of times I’m sure.

But this past year in 2014 was huge.  So many things changed in mine and Bailey’s life and sometimes we can’t process it all.  I don’t know if I’ll be able to write about everything…but it was crazy.  This time last year we were freaking out because we were going to graduate in a matter of months. We went to our senior prom together and partied hard all night (or nah). We went to see emotional movies together. We had facetime sleepovers and countless dates where all we ate were fries.We spent the summer together and turned 18. We saw the boys perform in August and it was once again the best night of our lives.  We grew in our friendship even more when we had to leave each other to go to college. The transition was one of the scariest but we survived a semester and I still have my best friend. I love Bailey and I’m so glad I’m going into another year with her by my side.  I couldn’t get through life without her. She’s my person and I will always be hers.

With the new year, I guess people make resolutions or something like that. Well me and Bailey have decided that we’re gonna go to prison together.  What an adventure that would be!! And in doing that we’re going to accomplish another goal we have…to get skinny.  What better way to do that than to go to prison and have some fun in there!  (The other tactic to getting skinny was for both of us to find sugar daddies..but we figured we would have more luck just going to jail.)

Of course we have other resolutions as well! We’re not stupid. Maybe Bailey will stop lying as much, and maybe I’ll start to be more positive but those are just some minor things we’re thinking about.

2015 will probably hold many surprises and we’re just two girls who will probably cry through every twist and turn there is this year.  There’s always an exciting factor about that though…who really knows what’s going to happen this year. It could be amazing and beautiful and perfect. I mean Bailey and I are finally seeing One Direction together in August so that’s a good start.  We’ll finish our first year of college…and become sophomores three months after.  There’s a bunch of unknown shit too but this is me being a little positive. Let’s do this thing 2015.

Finals Week

Bailey and I might be in hell right now..we’re not completely sure but we’re sure.

Finals week people. I can’t even feel my brain anymore. However, it’s almost over. Tomorrow’s Friday and I honestly cannot wait til 11:30 tomorrow morning when I can finally be on my way home again.

Biology is probably mine and Bailey’s least favorite word right now so do us a favor and never say it in front of us…we’ll either start sobbing on the spot or punch you in the face. (I always start writing a blog post when I should be studying for Bio but do I care? …no) With the end of finals week coming closer it’s kind of hard to believe we’ve already finished one semester of college.  I still sometimes feel like I shouldn’t be here or like I’m not supposed to be at this point in my life yet…but here I am. I think the past few months have overall been okay.  On a scale of 1-10 I would say it gets a 5. It hasn’t been horrible. It hasn’t been perfect. But I’m okay with a neutral 5, college is fine. Bailey and I both had many expectations for what college would be like as I’m sure every other freshman did as well. A lot of those expectations were just flat out wrong, but even with a few (or many) let downs we learned to adjust and create a new life by ourselves. Yeah, it was scary as hell and sometimes we didn’t know what we were doing,(heads up: we still don’t) but we lived and we’re going to get through anything else life throws at us too.  I’m dreading these finals I have tomorrow but I know that after they’re done I won’t ever have to go back to those courses again. Thank God.

It’s only been two weeks since we last saw each other but I’m just as excited to see Bailey! I miss her tons like what else is new. I just want to sit and listen to FOUR, One Direction’s new album, with her over and over again. I want to cuddle and I want to cry happy tears.  When we introduced each other we both shared how the other likes to cry a lot…well with the stress of finals, there have been more than a couple calls to each other where we just listen to each other cry for a little.  Bailey will always be there for me, and I will always be there for her.  If she’s having a bad day, I will call her to tell her a stupid joke or talk in a funny accent to make her smile again. Cause she deserves to smile…and I know she would do the same for me.  This past week has shown me a lot about us as friends. Whenever I was brain dead or crying or overall stressed to the max, Bailey would drop all things to give me a call or send me a text so I would feel better(…like when will ur fav ever?) She motivates and inspires me like none other and I love her with all my heart. So, thanks for the many pushes you gave me this week girl! I couldn’t have done it without you.

I’m going to get back to studying…cause I’m gonna make it through tomorrow (hopefully). But here’s to the late night coffee cups, the messy ponytails and the bags under our eyes. *throws back espresso shots*

-A

Finally

It’s been 103 days.

103 days since I’ve seen my family.

103 days since I’ve seen my puppy.

103 days since I’ve seen my best friend.

103 days since I’ve been home.

and it’s finally happening.  I can’t wait to finally see everyone and physically hug them and feel them in my arms instead of just saying hello through text or facetime. Being away for so long has really changed my perspective on some things. I mean, i guess in the grand scheme of things 3 months isn’t that long, but for an 18 year old girl who hasn’t ever really stayed away from home…yeah it’s a big damn deal. Before leaving for college I was the typical older sibling that was always annoyed with her younger siblings. However, being away from them has really made me appreciate them even more.  I miss their nagging and the random outbreaks into song, and the weird questions, and even the little stupid arguments.  It’s part of family life and I’ve been missing out on it for 3 months.  It’s weird living with people all your own age or a little older (at least for me).  It’s not something I’m used to. I miss my mama’s hugs and my dad’s lectures and advice.  As much as they were annoying sometimes I loved them and living life without those small things is significantly different.  I can’t wait to be back living with my family even if it only is for less than a week.

Missing my best friend is difficult too.  We talk about it every time we post something on this blog but I don’t know how I’ve made it this long without seeing Bailey.  Like this shit is super difficult.  She’s basically like my girlfriend except not because we both like boys.  Yet, she acts the same way. We’re protective over each other and we get jealous and we want to spend all the time we have together.  It’s been so long since I’ve seen Bill and I absolutely cannot wait to Koala Bear her and just hold on forever. I’m looking forward to just sitting in silence and being on our phones…cause that’s what we do best.  But I also can’t wait to just see her face.  Facetime doesn’t cut it. Pictures don’t do it justice.  When I see my best friend for the first time in 103 days, I will cry and I will just look at her.  Cause can it be real? Are we really finally together? We’ve both been counting down for so long and it’s finally here.

I’ll be home in 8 hours 🙂

Hopefully by this time you’re over the fact that you’re not my number one on snapchat. Just give me some time to fix it. ily man, forever.

7 days

This is my countdown until Abi gets back home. I think it’s been going on for a good two months now, and it’s finally at 7 days. One week until I get to see my best friend again and words can’t even describe my excitement.

Being 491 miles away from your best friend for 96 days is weird, and it’s even weirder that when I do see her it’ll be 103 days since I saw her last. August 14th was the last day I saw Abi in real life. She came over in the morning, and when I answered the door she was already bawling her eyes out, and I’m pretty sure I shut the door on her, and then had to open it back up. That was a rough morning. We gave each other our gifts, and cried even more. After Abi and I hugged for the last time, I just cried. It’s not like she was dead, or I would never see her again. It was just hard knowing we weren’t going to be in the same state, that we may (or may not) make new friends that weren’t each other, that we would have to go into college without each other by our sides. I was also crying because I was seeing One Direction that night, and I knew I would only be able to tell Abi about it over facetime, calling or texting her. And you can’t really express the real emotions you felt over the phone, but I knew Abi would kind of understand because she just knows.

College has been rough. It’s been good, but it’s been rough. Not having Abi here to just give me a hug, or even cuddle with (even though I had to initiate it) kinda sucks. Because there are just those days when you need your best friend with you because you’re in a shitty mood, and you’re contemplating your whole life and future. And there’s no way you can do that without factoring in what your best friend thinks, and it’s hard when they’re a state away from you. We text, almost every day. We facetime, maybe once a week. But none of that compares to actually laying in the same bed and sitting on our phones and not talking to each other. That’s what I really miss, just being in the presence of Abi and sitting on twitter, retweeting things for her to look at without actually telling her about it. I miss laying in bed and watching Netflix documentaries with her. I just really miss Abi.

Now there’s only a week until I see her again. Seven days until I can run up to her and give her a huge hug and we can actually talk face to face and cry together. 168 hours until we can go to Sonic and get milkshakes and french fries just like we did before college started. And I know we’ll only see other for a few days, and it probably won’t be every single day, but that doesn’t matter. Because we’ll finally be in the same town again.

And 491 miles will finally turn into 2 miles.

princess abigail

I thought introducing Abi would be easy, that’s why I came up with the idea. But I’ve realized its not. When you know so much about someone, it’s hard to decide what to tell others, because you want to keep certain things to yourself so only you know it. And that’s pretty selfish, but it’s true. There’s things about Abi that not a lot of people know that’s she told me. She knows things about me that I’m pretty sure I don’t even know about myself. She’s such an amazing person and to try to describe her to someone is nearly impossible. But here it goes anyway.

You see, Abi, she’s my best friend. I don’t have a lot of best friends, only two actually, so for her to be one makes her a damn special person. She’s incredibly selfless, and thinks about everyone else before herself. I’ve only been best friends with Abi since junior year of high school, but in the almost two years that she has been my best friend, I’ve learned that she is probably one of the most amazing people in this world. She could be struggling with school, with boys, with friends, and I could make one comment to her about how I was having a bad day, and she’ll automatically try to cheer me up. She could be having the worst day in the world, but she’ll always find a way to cheer someone else up.

I’m trying not to describe Abi the same way she did me, but it’s pretty difficult because we’re practically the same person. Just like me, Abi doesn’t really like when you bring up college to her. Don’t ask her what she’s majoring in, where she sees herself in a few years, or why she chose to go all the way to Ohio for school. Just don’t ask her. Instead, ask her “Hey, I heard you like One Direction; who’s your favorite?” or “Hey, I heard you like Harry Potter; what’s your favorite book out of the series?” She still might cry just as much as she would if she was talking about college, but they’ll be different tears, and she won’t want to strangle you.

That’s another thing about Abi. She cries. I cry too, that’s why were such good friends I think. She just has a huge heart, and things get to her easily. And that’s okay, because it makes her a wonderful person, just a bit sensitive. There are times that Abi and I just sit and cry, and we yell at each other to knock it off and suck it up. But we both know that it’ll never change, and at each other’s weddings, we’ll probably cry more than our moms.

She’s a firm believer that there’s nothing Netflix, donuts, and pizza can’t fix. Seriously, I think if it was legal to get married to any or all of those three items, she would. And she would have no ragrets.

Abi’s literally probably the most beautiful person I know. Her milkshake constantly brings boys to the yard and for that, I’m jealous. She also makes the most beautiful faces in snapchats (please refer to pictures above). No but in all seriousness, I’ve never seen someone take as many gorgeous selfies as Abi, and even though I despise them, she still rocks them.

Abi’s just my best friend. That’s how I would describe her. As my best friend, because to be that, you have to be weird, and sarcastic, and emotional, and a little crazy because who the hell would want to be friends with me. But I’m glad I have Abi. Because she’s just the cutest little ball of sunshine God’s ever made. And I wouldn’t trade her for anything.

(Okay, I’d trade her for Louis Tomlinson, but shhhh)